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Leaving You Oct. 1st, 2005 @ 09:30 pm
I turn off of Potomac
As I walk down the boulevard
The tress have started turning
And the breeze makes them fall

And I walk towards my future
As I try to forget my past
Not knowing what is coming
This has happened to damn fast

Because I’m leaving you
I’m leaving you
Oh I’m leaving you
Leaving you

And I’m tired of learning
Because you’re so hard to please
Things are always so boring
When it’s no one else but me

I would love myself today
If tomorrow weren’t so bad
How can you cry over someone
That you never even had?

And I walk towards my future
As I turn away from my past
I don’t understand theses feelings
Some are happy some are sad

I’m Leaving you
I’m Leaving you
Oh I’m leaving you
Leaving You

There is a light at the end of a tunnel
And it is beckoning me
As I walk I put my head down
Because it’s too hard to reach

And then I walk towards a future
Trying to escape my past
There is so much that is troubling
It’s hard just to breath

For now all is quiet
And a storm is sure to come
Just remember that shadows
Remind us that there is a sun

What do you think of these lyrics?
What comes to mind?
Do You like them?
Any lines you like in particular?
Current Mood: peacefulpeaceful
Current Music: Leaving You

Some Advice I've come by Sep. 23rd, 2005 @ 06:36 pm
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you


Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.


Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.


Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.


Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Everyone Is Free To Wear Sunscreen by Baz Luhtman

Simplicity Sep. 22nd, 2005 @ 01:11 pm
I am sitting
In the morning
At the diner
On the corner

I am waiting
At the counter
For the man
To pour the coffee

And he fills it
Only halfway
And before
I even argue

He is looking
Out the window
At somebody
Coming in

"It is always
Nice to see you"
Says the man
Behind the counter

To the woman
Who has come in
She is shaking
Her umbrella

And I look
The other way
As they are kissing
Their hellos

I'm pretending
Not to see them
And Instead
I pour the milk

I open
Up the paper
There's a story
Of an actor

Who had died
While he was drinking
He was no one
I had heard of

And I'm turning
To the horoscope
And looking
For the funnies

When I'm feeling
Someone watching me
And so
I raise my head

There's a woman
On the outside
Looking inside
Does she see me?

No she does not
Really see me
Cause she sees
Her own reflection

And I'm trying
Not to notice
That she's hitching
Up her skirt

And while she's
Straightening her stockings
Her hair
Is getting wet

Oh, this rain
It will continue
Through the morning
As I'm listening

To the bells
Of the cathedral
I am thinking
Of your voice...

And of the midnight picnic
Once upon a time
Before the rain began...

I finish up my coffee
It's time to catch the train

Can anyone can guess this song...?

I'm at home today from school with a soar throught...I hate soar throughts
Current Mood: sicksick
Current Music: Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vega

Frodo Lives Sep. 20th, 2005 @ 09:48 pm
So i was driving home from work today singing along to Radiohead and it hit me...

I really need to start doing something physical. The only reason i work at the Y really is to keep the free membership and i dont use it. So i can either quit and continue having a stressful life or i can do something and try and make some healthier decitions.

I use to love working out but last year i got so sidetracked with the musical and SAT classes that i had to break the cycle.

I'm ready to go back though, i need the change. I think im might try winter track again this year too... i actually had alot of fun last year when i did it for a few weeks. I could also really feel a difference right away. I sure wont go to any of the meets...but ill show up to practice...

If anyone wants to be a workout buddy, a sign up sheet is below...dont you all try to sign up all at once now...

Lester Burnham said it best "I want to look good naked"
Current Mood: Motivated

Wake me up when september ends... Sep. 19th, 2005 @ 08:02 pm
We'll i havn't written for a while and my friend at work today made me feel guilty about it so here goes nothing...

Today and for the past few days i have felt really good about things. I feel alot better than i have in a while about life in general. The end of summer was really strange and tough and now i feel like a boulder has been lifted off my shoulders. I don't know what it is, well thats not true i think i have an idea but im not proud of the reasons and its too hard to explain. In any case i think there i reached the light at the end of the tunnel and now im ready to move on and focus on school and friends and my future.

I've decided im not going to put a whole lot of effort ... for lack of a better word, into trying to find someone. I guess if things work out with someone that would be nice but otherwise im not going to go through that whole bullshit faze of trying to call and make my feelings obvious without making things akward at the same time. I'm tired of wishing. If something comes my way it will come, whatever is meant to happen will happen and im fine with that.

Today i talked to a rep from U Chicago and he convinced me to apply. It's a Graduate school and its really math and science oriented but he assured me that there were programs there in film and politics i could enjoy and take advantage of. What i like is that it is a school that really encourages "thinking outside the box" i mean their application is called "the uncommon App"...what kind of school does that?! I'm starting to come to terms with the notion that i won't get into UPENN, and i think realizing that i could go to schools like UChicago and Boston U gives me some sort of peace and comformity knowing that i wont be a failure if i dont get into a school that is one of the toughest to get into in the country. There is still a little wishful thinking inside me though...

So you know how at new years we all make resolutions, well i think its stupid to do that in Jan because if you really think about it the school year starts in Sept and that really is the begiingin of a new chapter at least in our lives... so here are my new school year resolutions:

Get Straight A's
Go see mitch perform more often
Go see as many FH games as i can
Go to at least 2 Mt. Volleyball games
Get my applications in well before the deadline
Do a good job on my documentary and dont let it become something i never finish
Stop procrastinating HW.
Have an amazing time in Boston with this year in Dec and at the end of this month
Watch as many movies as i can (NETFLIX rocks!!!)
Go see an NFL and NHL game, ive never been to either
Actually enjoy Home Comming
Learn how to dance
Take Mitch to NYC

Ok there is more i could write but im tired for now...and yes i am aware that i sound like a nerd, but you know what im tired of caring about what other people think


Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day
Other entries
» New Year and only 276 more days until graduation
Well school started and I am very Happy with all my classes and the people who share them with me. Even being in an all Junior class isn't bad.

Labor day weekend is comming and I'm going down to OC NJ. Planning on having fun with my brother who I have barely seen at all this summer. Between me being in Germany and him being in Mexico.

I've been listening to Coldplay's new album alot recently and it is absolutly awsome. The more i listen to it the more I like it.

I wish i could write more and have something interesting to say like most people who use this danm thing do but everything i want to say is too personal and i just do not have the patience...


"...I'll fake it through the day..."
» I'll Fake it through the day...
I’ll fake it through the day
With some help from johnny walker red
Send the poison rain down the drain
To put bad thoughts in my head
Two tickets torn in half
And a lot of nothing to do
Do you miss me, miss misery
Like you say you do?

A man in the park
Read the lines in my hand
Told me I’m strong
Hardly ever wrong I said man you mean

You had plans for both of us
That involved a trip out of town
To a place I’ve seen in a magazine
That you left lying around
I don’t have you with me but
I keep a good attitude
Do you miss me, miss misery
Like you say you do?

I know you’d rather see me gone
Than to see me the way that I am
But I am in the life anyway

Next door the tv’s flashing
Blue frames on the wall
It’s a comedy of errors, you see
It’s about taking a fall
To vanish into oblivion
Is easy to do
And I try to be but you know me
I come back when you want me to
Do you miss me miss misery
Like you say you do?
» Painted Black
see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black
With flowers and my love both never to come back
I see people turn their heads and quickly look away
Like a new born baby it just happens ev'ry day

I look inside myself and see my heart is black
I see my red door and it has been painted black
Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts
It's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue
I could not foresee this thing happening to you

If I look hard enough into the settin' sun
My love will laugh with me before the mornin' comes

I see a red door and I want it painted black
No colors anymore I want them to turn black
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes

Hmm, hmm, hmm,...

I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
» Nostalgia
So i took a walk today around my old school. It was a mixture of feelings. I enjoyed it very much but it was also a little strange being in the same place that i hated for soo long. The middle school is now officially a prison. They have surrounded the entire middle school building with a gate and fence so they can lock the kids in. It is without a doubt a detention hall more than a school. But on the plus side i got news that the former middle school principal was just fired last week. This is something i have litteraly masturbated to. The day that cunt got fired. when i herd i jumped with joy. Maybe now the middle school will be a happier, better place, too bad for me i got the short end of the stick.

Ok well not that anyone reading this will know what im talking about or care...

so lets leave it at this... post a comment to this message of one teacher you have had who was amazing (like they inspired you and forever changed the way u saw the world) and a comment of a teacher u hate or hated.
» You may be through with the past but the past isnt through with you
So im here visiting mexico. Im only here for a few days and already im home sick. I honestly like my life in Delaware too much. Its hard for me to leave. I have so much to look forward to there believe it or not.

Returning to mexico always just depreses me. Thats why i only like being here a short time. I remember all the reasons i left. And when i get here and find out about all the people that use to be my friends i realize what shit people they have become. Today im going to take a walk around my old school. It should be an interesting experience to say the least. It will probably be a mixture of alot of highs and lows as far as memories are concerned. Im hoping i run in to a few old teachers of mine. I know its summer but im hoping theres a conference going on or something.

I found an old little journal i had here in mexico before i moved to america. I left it behind here by accident. I read some of the poems and entries in it...I was an angry little man. I use to pray for a school shooting. I was an angry little man. Its strange because i feel alot happier now and im not so angry but there is still some of that residing anger inside. Im not saying im gonna shoot up the school, but all im saying is that if my buttons are pushed the wrong way there is hell to pay.

Anyway im comming home in two days and im really looking forward to it. I like the food here and i like seeing my dad, and im gonna go get some cowboy boots today, but other than that i dont like being here...
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